#I will never write this

[folie-a-louis]

idea for a fic that came to me in a dream:

it’s when neil and andrew are on pro teams and they get married (courthouse very private) (aaron is a little pissy about andrew getting married first esp bc andrew says that the reason he got married was to piss aaron off won’t admit his feelings for neil to his brother — i’m rambling)

ok back to the plot;

publically no one knows neil and andrew are married but they know andrew is because he wears his ring on his finger while neil wears his on a chain around his neck alongside the columbia key (because of the burns on his knuckles ring wearing is not the most comfortable) so no one puts its together

so the first press conference of the new season andrew shows up wearing a ring and everyone (including his teammates are confused, maybe one or two know but that’s it) because no one has ever seen him with a woman/didn’t know he even had a girlfriend. his teammates have asked him about his break/off season plans before and “going on a road trip with josten” and “visiting family” doesn’t scream someone in a long term relationship with a woman

any questions about his spouse/wife are deflected, doesn’t answers the questions, he does like to stir the pot a little saying cryptic things. some peoples reactions are like maybe she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight since andrew is a professional athlete and wants to keep her privacy we should respect it but others are trying to dig up anything about the elusive bride.

months go by and this digging leads to photos of neil and andrew together thus resulting in a scandal of andrew cheating on his wife with neil.

andrew and neil’s reaction is to ignore it, kinda concerned about their privacy but don’t really care about making a statement

their pr people/managers disagree and keeping trying to convince them to release a statement or something

it’s not until during an interview/press conference after a game that someone says something about the cheating scandal to andrew that bugs him or something (maybe something homophobic) and he finally addresses it by saying something along the lines of “i never knew it was possible to cheat on your husband with your husband”

edit:

i would just like to add that the foxes are in college/their twenties during the peak of facebook meaning that nicky was 100% that millennial that posted every single thought and photo albums containing 100+ photos on a daily basis.

that being said there are a lot of photos with neil and andrew in the background being neilandandrew on nicky’s facebook

[njsecretchild]

shouta and hizashi aizawa-yamada are happily married for 20 years and are raising a son for another 17 years. their izuku is a kind and smart kid, who wears his heart on his sleeve and trusts his parents with everything!

but wait... where did those prada loafers come from? is this bag fendi? where did he get a chanel blazer? how did he manage to save up enough to buy the newest iphone with his allowance?

or: shouta and hizashi start finding designer clothes in their son's wardrobe and confront him about it. what they don't expect is a literal sugar daddy

[londondungeon2]

concept with dullahan! dire crowley OR dullahan! floyd leech, you can imagine either ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽

now playing harley poe’s vengeance the demon / close the door / outcrowd

part i. vengeance the demon.

it always starts with you running. it has never once changed; you, desperate and panting, throw yourself across the earth on two lunging legs.

sometimes, you trip. sometimes, you crash into things. but you always keep running and running away from the sound of clomping hooves in pursuit. they echo in the mine ruins that you always find yourself in, sounding like an army of horses instead of the single one giving chase.

one time, you finally manage to reach the end of the mine shaft as you can see these polka dot patterns of light just ahead. you break out into a sprint.

the air is less humid when you burst out of the mines like a bullet passing through a body. you make a wild run for the houses lit by lanterns. pumpkins are on each porch. you end up stumbling into one, acquiring a new shoe, as you throw yourself against the door.

“please! he’ll kill me! he’ll kill me he’ll kill me!”

the only response you get is the window by the door opening just slightly. you almost miss the motion, so focused on pounding your fist against the wood. but through your eyes and the blood and the mud, you manage to spy it. two fingers opening up a crack in the blinds and one single eye peeking at you.

“please … please …” you sniffle, blood and snot a thick mélange running down your lips.

the eye stares at you. it looks like an immovable stone, something that has already made its decision. the light of the glowing pumpkin and lanterns pale in comparison to how bright the eye is.

“i can’t help you, yous folk is marked.”

ii. close the door

the girls and boys at your university hate you. your parents don’t hate you but they don’t like you either. you’re not even sure you like yourself.

the only person (and he’s not even a person) who loves you is your black cat, grim.

grim purrs at you which you take as validation as sweet as boyfriend saying he loves you or as validation as heartwarming as a best friend saying she’s grateful that two of you have become friends because no one gets her like you do. in him, you find validation that you have been missing since you were seven and that boy died at your birthday party.

it wasn’t your fault. your hands were only on the reins because the handler asked you, the birthday girl, if you wanted to hold and guide the horse. you must’ve fucked it up somehow because the horse reeled up, a black stallion of huge proportions looking like something carved into a monolith, before the stallion kicked back his legs and struck a boy in the head.

blood paints over the grass as the first adult came outside with the cake, the beginning of happy birthday on his tongue.

which is why some girls corner you in the bathroom, one wearing a party city horse mask and getting in your face. another kicks the stall, mimicking clop-clop noises with her mouth.

because the town hates you. everyone has always hated you.

it causes you little stress besides tears. what causes you the biggest stress is returning to your dorm, finding your window open yet not finding grim.

you search the streets like mad, shaking tuna treats in your hands.

eventually, you come across paw prints that have found their way into a water storm drain tunnel, those ones cities and towns install to minimize flooding risk. the paw prints are wet and small but you know deep down grim’s in there somewhere.

after some hesitation, you walk in.

it’s dark and humid. and you mean dark as in the only way to tell where walls are is to move your hands outward to check where they lie, you can barely make out shapes in this nebulous black. and you mean humid as your hair is starting to stick to the back of your neck and the place where your inner thighs touch are sweating with a passion.

but you have to find the only person who loves you.

you keep going till your foot catches on something. you don’t trip but you feel around with the sole of your foot, coming to conclusion you are stepping on none other than mine-tracks.

you have to go back. you have to go back! you think with a blinding panic.

but then you hear a meow, soft and faint. gradually, you calm down and call out for grim. please, grim come, you have been traveling too far down this rabbit-hole, both of you need to go home safe and sound.

but he doesn’t come, continuously meowing. a little farther, you can risk going that much for grim.

so you keep going, one of each shoe placed on the sides of the tracks, shaking your bag of tuna treats.

eventually, you come across light. not sparse light like polka dots but bright light that almost blinds you.

they’re celebrating something in a town just a two minute walk away. they are celebrating halloween.

the door on your old life is permanently shut.

iii. outcrowd

grim, you see him. just a bit down the way, he’s weaving through the crowd of people lined up on each side of a giant parade.

you pass by a man breathing fire, another on an elephant, one who is clipping roses from his skin and handing them out to children, another who is — your sight suddenly blurs when two forces hit you with surprising force.

“mama!!” they cry in unison. and two twins with your face but golden eyes gaze up at with love you have never been shown to before by human features.

“i told you two, not to run off during the parade; must i keep you on a leash,” a man with hair split black and white breaks through the crowd.

“oh well now i see why they ran so swiftly,” this mysterious man says as he addresses you. “welcome back, (name); i was worried you weren’t going to make it this year.”

“mama was gonna come this year! dad promised!” the twin on your right says, taking the easy opportunity to slip his hand into yours.

“dad never breaks his promise, uncle crewel! never!” the one on the left clings to your entire arm like a snake.

“i see,” the man tuts, giving you a mischievous wink. “come on then; he also promised to attain this parade,” mumbled under his breath, “if only he stays in the mood to attend this one and not chase his beloved wife around.”

the twins, with a surprising amount of strength, drag you along.

so, against your will, you watch this halloween parade pass by. finally apart of the crowd, loved and cared about by people. not part of that outcrowd that has kept you isolated.

it comes and goes until finally the star of the show arrives, a man cloaked in black, a pumpkin as a head, riding the black stallion from your childhood.

you try to pull away. the twins hold on tight. you watch in betrayal as grim walks up to the horse, only to be scooped lovingly in the arms of the rider, purring away.

that man is going to kill me, you think as he draws closer on that ebony stead of nightmares.

then, finally, he stops his horse in front of you and offers his hand up to you like a man offering up his entire heart, body, and soul. the twin on the right slots your numb hand into the rider’s easily. you are lifted onto the horse, sandwiched between the neck and a warm body, resisting the urge to cry like a baby.

“my wife,” the man behind you breathes amorous on your neck, removing the pumpkin from his face.

a single gold/two gold eyes greet you with such love you almost cry. “how lovely of you to finally join us.”

when he kisses you, you do cry.

[violet-sumire]

An absolutely horrible, evil oneshot idea

Dabi dies sometime before he can reveal his identity to the world.

Since he was such a big unknown, his genome is tested to find any relatives so the heroes might learn who he was.

Endeavor gets the worst phone call of his entire life.

[powerbottomzoro]

If I was better at writing (political) intrigue, I might put it on my List. But I ain’t, so I won’t.

I’m currently watching Suits and it’s fun. And of course I have to imagine Zoro as an aggressive but honest lawyer in a way too expensive suit. He looks good in suits. Evidence A

Sanji’s of course a rival lawyer from a different firm who can’t believe how this gorilla got a law degree in the first place. Who’s he kidding to believe Zoro, Mr Burly Muscle Man himself would do all this tedious legal paperwork. Let’s be real!

But Zoro’s nothing but dedicated. If he wants something, he’ll get it.

Nami’s a para legal who will become the best finance lawyer in the Western hemisphere, but she wants to pay for law school on her own. (Some bad blood with loan sharks in her past.)

Usopp is fresh out of law school and his grades are top tier but when he has to speak with opposing council or god forbid a judge, he freezes and/or says the dumbest shit imaginable.

Brook is a sophisticated partner at the firm, disillusioned by years of practice. He’s seen some shit. But these younglings are changing his perspective.

Jinbei is the DA and works his ass off to make sure only actually guilty people are put away on his watch and then young offenders get a chance to learn from their mistake (when applicable). He rather be a public defense lawyer but he did what he had to do.

Vivi is a diplomat and needs good legal council, so that’s an easy in.

The most headache is Luffy. There’s no way in hell I can find an argument to make him a lawyer and that be believable. Him? No Way! And it all falls apart 😭

[rowenabean]

One way I will write a medical paper and it will be called Yearning Rats and Emotional Swans: Practical Acceptance and Commitment Therapy on a Popular Website

[il0vep0rtal]

Reply with an unhinged description of your favorite OCs. I'll start.

(context, a super hero story)

Simon Sine: sweaty guy, smart but so so sweaty and sarcastic (his psychic powers have left him jaded about everything around him)

Cassie Erro: world's most pathetic little meow meow (receives prophecies of probable futures and thinks she is doing right but her prophecies fuck over people around her; Simon's apprentice)

Avery Morris: eww, I hate him (deragatory) everyone hates him (tony stark but worse, sarcastic to the point of cruelty)

Edrice Cooper: my fave, I love them. fucking tired, man. the only person with a brain (wind powers, was a sidekick to Morris but got jaded and quit after high school to focus on college)

Charloette (Charlie) Anthony: I hate her (affectionate), she is your favorite drinking partner (not anymore), wants to kill Simon and Avery personally (her power is that she's like hulk but with 6 arms, hotheaded)

Kaitlin Cainell: somehow the stupidest and smartest person here (villain pov character)

Elix Grimshaw: sweaty, sweaty guy (villain, Kaitlin and Elix want each other in a way that would cast them out of Eden)

[vanivenivici]

Have a shuake plot bunny that I need to expunge from my head immediately, feat. Actual Prince Akechi and Akira disguising himself as a woman to infiltrate the palace:

Okay so eastern period drama style, Prince Akechi stays in the palace while quietly plotting to usurp/assassinate his tyrant father. Shido, the emperor, is fairly detached from reality and very paranoid of dissent, so Akechi holds no real power (just goodwill he's earned through charisma). Shido keeps throwing women and consorts at Akechi to hopefully distract him/marry him off/what have you. Akechi has no interest in any of that, obviously.

Enter Akira, the leader of the revolutionaries, who (along with Ann and Makoto) attempt to infiltrate the harem so they can gain access to the palace. Only Akira gets through the selection process and becomes one of the Prince's royal consorts.

Oh and maybe Maruki is in there somewhere as like... a royal physician? In the medieval sense, anyway. A wellness advisor with his own agenda who is sensitive to shuake's plight and eventually gets in the way. (light B-plot)

Anyway, Akechi writes off this new addition as usual, but Akira has to crank up the charm to both gain his trust and explain away all the snooping around he may get caught doing. Lots of accidental bonding ensues. (There's always a 'helping the prince dress' scene with palpable tension, isn't there?) Akira has a crisis over being fond of a member of the royal family. Akechi has a crisis over developing an interest in who he thinks is a woman. Maybe they plan on killing each other to further their goals somehow.

Akira's secret is eventually revealed and everything clicks... probably while they're trying to kill each other. They become accomplices... add a touch of political drama since Akechi will now obviously favor one particular consort... Shido attempts to marry him off to some other family/country for political gain... the revolutionaries fully infiltrate the palace and help stop Shido's nonsense... huge battle against the royal guard with the turncoats Akechi has won over to his side... happy ending?

Yeah, maybe happy ending.

[themistas]

i just think that shin soukoku gaining awareness in the beast universe could lead to , who knows, them looking for each other in the different universes that dazai mentioned (or whatever they are, i spedrun (spedran? speedran?) through beast and can only recall the Absolute Angst and Absolute Fate (all by DazaiTM) of it), and perhaps even further

in some random universe abilities are dead and atsushi, after having a moderately decent life in some random orphanage, is busy filing out his taxes, but there's this gloomy taxes agent that won't stop staring and eventually goes up to him (pulls him into a corner, muffling his startled scream with a hand, threatening to kill him -- romances always start this way)

'stop screaming it's just me. the guy who's been going after you in every universe. not to kill you, no. to unite the way dazai wanted us to. oh dazai is WHAT in your universe? that does not matter. yes. your violin teacher wants us to unite. why you? i don't know... maybe you fucking died as a vampire in my universe??? oh, you're sorry?? that's not gonna bring you back!!'

akutagawa does not exist in this universe, did everything he could to save gin from a drunk driver when they were teenagers (and in the universe where he lives, well -- atsushi doesn't learn about him until he's fifty-seven) (and in the universe where he learns about him much earlier, they never get along, and they only interact for six months) (and in another budding universe, akutagawa bumps into him when he's five. and he never really pays it any mind, until he once again bumps into a guy at the cemetery, staring at his best friend's grave, gone too soon and forever remembered) (he could not stop the driver this time, was away with a friend and can never shake off the guilt, the despair that reside in his heart)

it's a little sudden, it's not at all what atsushi planned to do on a sunday -- but after all this world lacks akutagawa, a very strange angry man who will not lean away from his front door, who's way too convinced 'he's the one' to go look for another Him. and his world lacks atsushi, had him become a vampire then promptly pass away.

how did that happen -- akutagawa will only tell if atsushi agrees to come with him, but atsushi isn't stupid, and if he closes his eyes -- he thinks he can imagine it, him pushing akutagawa out of the way; him being in the way, rather than him (for his live means a lot, to ppl and - him) -- buying akutagawa time, each and every time, so that he can live on and carry their goal on his broad back

it's silly: he doesn't know him, might just never do, not in the way the Real atsushi did -- but this atsushi has nothing to care about, not much apart from taxes at least -- and this akutagawa has the guy from the grocery store being an amazing chef in his universe, so amazing he won't mind buying dinner to a copy-paste (yet so familiar, yet so alike his atsushi) of his partner

it's an easy yes, an easy pact sealed by shaken hands -- it's a trip into another universe, and through fights and disgruntled confessions (through kindness and wordless exchanges) they learn to see the other from another universe, learn to understand what the other went through

through grief and a not-a-violin-teacher dazai, through caught-but-cured vampirism and badly hidden, eventually confessed love they learn to coexist, and the world is saved and all is well once again, the world balanced by their explosive chemistry

ps. though atsushi dies in a few universes to save akutagawa, akutagawa dies like a hundred times saving atsushi. i have decided so and i know it to be true in my heart

[artemisdesari-blog]

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[tanjir0se]

Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[birdy-babe]

Blitzøs entire life spent being unwanted. So he adapted, and learned how to be something needed, something to be used.

Which is why I think he firmly believes he is being used by Stolas. He simply cannot fathom a different reality, one in which he is wanted for once in his life.

[corkinavoid]

Tim, internally: I need to make sure my family doesn't start the shovel talk the moment we appear, I can do this, I just need to introduce him the right way

Tim, walking into the dining room, hand in hand with Danny: Bad news, Damian's grandfather stole my spleen four years ago. Good news, my boyfriend of six months returned it to me yesterday and even installed it back!

Danny, the picture perfect image of innocence: Hi!

The Batfam, who knew nothing about the missing spleen or the mere existence of a boyfriend in Tim's life: wh-

[piece-of-pierce]

Danny picked up some traits from his parents. He got his mom’s flexibility and reflexes, his dad’s love of anything chocolate flavored and abnormally great cardiovascular health. The trait they both passed on (to Danny AND Jazz) is an intense need to learn everything they can about what they don’t like.

Jazz remembers what it was like when Uncle Hammond passed and Aunt Alicia got different. She’s terrified of her own emotions effecting her like that some day, so studies psychology like there’s no tomorrow.

Jack and Maddie bonded over their shared fear and death and resulting desire to learn everything they could about it.

Danny can’t stand clowns. They’re dishonest and hide who they are behind heavy makeup and outlandish costumes. Freak show kicks that dislike into a full-on phobia though, so he goes all in on learning everything he can. How does clown school work? What are the requirements to be a clown? What rules do they have to follow? If he knows their limitations, he knows their weaknesses. He will not be caught off guard again.

That knowledge sits in the back of his mind like a comfort blanket. Every so often he’ll dip back in and research if there’s anything that’s changed. He wants to keep on top of any information about his greatest enemies.

Finally, he manages to graduate high school with a 2.7 GPA and 31 on the ACT thanks to his Math and Science scores (and a carefully managed brawling schedule with his rogues). Thanks to those, he managed to get a partial scholarship to Gotham U for Physics and Engineering. He still isn’t sure how he managed that, but he’ll happily take it.

What he won’t take is this FALSE Clown trying to cause trouble right before finals! He’d kept on top of his shit all semester and wasn’t gonna let anyone kidnapping him and some other people off the street get in his way.

Later, the Bats manage to find where the hostages were held because one of them waved down Robin. As in, all the captives had gotten free and when they found the right warehouse, it was to one young man berating the Joker.

“You’re nothing but a modern rendition of the town fool!”

[bishy437]

he won

bonus: